Sturgeon's secret weapon

Jacob Rees-Mogg has played into the hands of the SNP.

Nicola Sturgeon has been looking for a secret weapon to deploy against the Union and her search has brought her to the unlikely location of North East Somerset.

There, on the banks of the Avon and amid England’s finest cider apple orchards, is to be found the constituency of Jacob Rees-Mogg, the foppish, rake-thin Leader of the House whose Toryism is so High it’s a wonder it doesn’t get nosebleeds.

Rees-Mogg, who resembles a deeply sinister umbrella stand, dominated the day at Holyrood despite being several hundred miles south, touring television studios insulting the abilities of Conservatives. If nothing else, it makes a change from insulting the intelligence of voters.

His dismissal of Douglas Ross as ‘lightweight’ and ‘not a big figure in the Conservative Party’ has not gone down well in the Scottish section of that organisation. All day yesterday, there came a ping-buzz-whirr of tweets, WhatsApp messages and even old-fashioned emails as one Tory MSP after another backed their leader.

It's not just that Boris Johnson admitted to attending a BYOB party during lockdown; it's that, in retaliating against Douglas Ross's call for him to go, Downing Street has taken its polo mallet to the Scottish party and delivered a public punishment beating.

As such, First Minister's Questions was something of an afterthought and the only real interest was in how Sturgeon would use Rees-Mogg's barbs against their target. For the most part, she chose humour. Not her forte but the punchline 'even I am not as derogatory about him as his Tory colleagues' was too hard to resist.

The same went for a mischievous Christine Grahame, who pitched: 'I invite Douglas Ross to join us because I am sure he would have a better political future in an independent Scotland.'

It wasn't all one liners. Sturgeon also turned Rees-Mogg’s putdowns into a reason for independence. Big deal. She could turn an unexpected item in the bagging area into a reason for independence.

Audrey Nicoll, part of last May's new SNP intake, declared it was 'crystal clear that Scotland needs to become an independent country so that we can escape the sleazy, corrupt and criminal Westminster system for good'. Not to be out-crazied, the First Minister said Scotland needed independence ‘so we’ll no longer have to put up with being treated like something on the sole of Westminster’s shoe’.

Last year, Scotland enjoyed £81 billion in public expenditure, more than Wales and Northern Ireland combined. If that’s what the underside of Westminster’s shoe feels like, I’m sending Rishi Sunak my bank details and a size 12 pair of Doc Martens.

Sturgeon's rhetoric is the kind of wound-poking, anger-stoking language more commonly heard from the far-right but hardliners in the SNP rank-and-file really do believe Scotland is being occupied and oppressed by a foreign power. Say what you like about Sturgeon: she knows her base.

Outside the chamber, cameramen stalked the corridors hoping to catch a Tory and get a fresh line, and some were only too happy to supply one. Flagged down by a TV reporter, Jamie Greene was asked for his message to Jacob Rees-Mogg.

‘He should go and have a lie down,’ he ventured. ‘Preferably not in the House of Commons.’

It's been some time since Toryism had a Jacobite flavour but the Caledonian contingent is in rebellious mood.

Down in the other parliament, Rees-Mogg was himself being accosted by the television news. Three times ITV News asked him: ‘Do you regret calling Douglas Ross a “lightweight”?’ Three times he replied: ‘I think people who hold office within the Conservative Party should support the leader.’

For good measure, he added: ‘If you take the King’s shilling, you are beholden to the Crown.’ Because that's not an analogy the SNP will revel in dredging up from now till Judgement Day.

Originally published in the Scottish Daily Mail on January 14, 2022.